The birth of this diary...on January 8th, I found myself sitting and thinking, thinking and sitting. I realized this year was going to be a big change for me and as I reflected on that I found my iphone in my hand as I started to type the random thoughts that were on my mind. When I was done, I realized I needed to start a blog and be dedicated about recording my thoughts on my upcoming weight loss surgery, the journey it took me to get here, the people in my life and just everything else. Here I go:
This birthday will be the first one where I'm not overweight. Though I appreciate and love my curves, the extra stomachs and the aches can go--forever.
I will be leery of those that will like me all of a sudden and mourn the loss of those that only liked/loved me because I was fat.
Like him...I see, I really do but am I so starved for affection that I will turn a blind eye and a deaf ear? This isn't me. I feel nothing, I'm numb.
I'll be 40 next year. I realize that no one has ever loved me. Love doesn't know me. I thought I knew love, I thought I have been giving love, giving myself but I don't know if that is love either. It doesn't matter because they all keep taking. Doesn't matter blood or water they take -- and I give.
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